Perpetual motion can't be real, although we can delude ourselves (2024)

I’ve often been teased as being easily amused, and it’s an accusation I cannot deny. It doesn’t take much to capture my attention, and some of the most unexpected things can hold it for a good length of time.

For instance, I had one of those weird Drinking Birds years ago, the simple toy that one would put a small cup of water in front of and, once set up properly, the bird would rotate on a fulcrum until its beak touched the water, and then it would right itself.

I could have stared at that thing forever, and I began to think of it as a perpetual motion machine. Assuming it remained undisturbed, that bird could dip forever. Or so I thought. It’s not a true perpetual motion machine because its “fuel” – the water in the cup – was finite. The cup would eventually empty.

But the idea has stuck with me. Perpetual motion would solve so much. I built a V-8 engine model as a boy – one of those plastic things with a clear engine block and colored internal parts – and learned about how the battery powered the starter, and the alternator then kept the battery charged.

I’d soon learn that I wasn’t the only one with grandiose ideas about perpetual motion, even though it had been dismissed as impossible long ago. As scientific knowledge increased, it became apparent that the concept violates the laws of thermodynamics. More than 500 years ago, one of humanity’s greatest thinkers, Leonardo da Vinci, mocked eager, uninformed would-be scientists like young me: “Oh ye seekers after perpetual motion, how many vain chimeras have you pursued? Go and take your place with the alchemists.”

Several years ago, I decided I “needed” to get a new car. There was nothing wrong with the car I had. It was a late model sedan with low miles. But I convinced myself I wanted something bigger and had my eye on a Honda Pilot. I went to the dealership one day and spent a couple of hours driving Pilots, and soon rolled home in brand new ride.

It seems like I’ve owned a million cars, but I’ve never had one that hadn’t already been titled to someone else. I enjoyed the new car smell and the small thrill of tooling around in a fancy conveyance. There were many things I liked about it, but I had not realized that the fuel economy would bother me as much as it grew to. It was a heavy vehicle with a heavy powerful engine, and the mpg numbers were roughly half of what I’d been used to.

I’d also convinced myself to lease rather than buy, which turned out to be a good choice for my particular driving habits and routine. But that upset my apple cart in one particularly disconcerting and unexpected way: I’d always changed cars when the whim struck, but a lease comes with a set end date. This is the week my lease was to expire, but fooling with automobile transactions was the last thing I wanted do.

I spent several days getting my stuff out and found some things behind the second-row seats that I hadn’t seen in 36 months. I went by the dealership a time or two and talked to a salesman named David. I left with the intention of tracking him down when it was time to do business, and several days later, I phoned him to set up an appointment.

When I arrived at the appointed time, I felt unprepared. My options were simple: I could keep the car and work out the purchase; I could turn the car in and settle up any outstanding issues; or I could return the Pilot and lease another vehicle from the same dealer. I was interested in the latter option, although I had no idea what I hoped to leave the dealership with.

From the test drives to the transaction, salesman David made it easy, and a couple of hours later, I rolled off the lot in the same sort of sedan I’d rolled in with three years ago. Aside from the year model, the biggest difference is that this one is a hybrid. It has a gasoline engine and an electric motor and battery pack. Sometimes it runs on battery power, and as the car slows down the resistance drives some sort of dynamo to recharge the battery.

In my mind, it’s almost as good as a perpetual motion machine. On the way home, I noticed that the fuel economy showed on the dash as 199.9 miles per gallon. Realistically, I expect the average will be more in the high 40s.

Not quite a perpetual motion machine, but it’ll do.